Today I think I'll talk about life in prison. As most of you know, I have significant firsthand experience and knowledge regarding this particular topic. But I'm not going to talk about that kind of prison -- the jails, 'correctional' institutions, detention centers, or any other of the multitude of human warehouses which occupy a rather large allocation of government property throughout America from sea to shining sea. Today, I'm talking about the kind of prison that almost anyone can relate to...
About an hour ago, as I was walking down King Street toward Bay Street in the heart of Toronto's financial district, I noticed a crowd of people snapping pictures with their smartphones of a man whom I can only assume was in the midst of some sort of performance art display. The man was dressed in a business suit, kneeling prostrate on the sidewalk at the southeast corner of King and Bay, with his head fully inserted into a pile of soil located inside an open suitcase also laying on the ground. There was a small rope tied into a noose knot on the concrete ground next to him, along with a carafe of clear water.
I too wanted to take a picture of this somewhat shocking sight at the busiest intersection during rush hour in Toronto's equivalent of Wall Street and Broad in New York City, but there were a lot of people surrounding him and taking pics and pointing and remarking, etc. The crowd of people surrounding him were also mostly dressed in business attire, given the location, but their heads were definitely not buried in dirt. So I just kept walking along, somewhat curious and impressed with the man's brave display of something, although I wasn't quite sure what that something might be. Only the man/artist truly knows, but now, upon further reflection, I now know what it represents to me.
When I think of what I saw while I was staring at this man along with everyone else, I kept having flashbacks of my experience in prison (actual prison) in Texas a few years ago. Alone, locked up in a small area, surrounded by concrete and steel and insanity. It's a hard feeling to forget, and it pops up from time to time when I feel stuck or powerless, scared and alone, regardless of the actual location or circumstances. It's a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness and solitude. In other words, it feels like shit.
To me, the display I witnessed by this man at the busiest time of day at the busiest intersection in the heart of Toronto's financial district, represents an all too common human experience in our 'free' society. Now, before I go any further, I need to say something, which is this: relatively speaking, in terms of numbers, there are a few people in our society who are fortunate enough to be able to work in a profession they actually enjoy -- a 'calling' -- people who love what they do and make a lot of money doing it. That's great and I'm happy for those people. Given that we live in a 'monetary' society, it would only be fair that everyone should be in such a position. But that's not the way it is, except for those fortunate ones. So I'm not talking about those fortunate ones.
I'm speaking to the human being who is presumably sick and tired of living in a society in which he is effectively forced to spend most waking hours of his days, working at some job he doesn't particularly like, being sent around to places he doesn't particularly want to be, all just to simply make the money he needs in order to 'live' a 'normal' life. Further, it made me think that it doesn't matter what kind of job a person has or how much money a person makes. What matters is that there are a lot of people in our society -- maybe even most people -- who do things they don't enjoy doing in an attempt to enjoy a bit of time while they're not busy doing those things they don't enjoy doing. You may need to read the previous sentence again, because it sounds weird, I know. But it makes sense.
Some people call this 'sacrifice,' or 'paying dues,' or 'gotta work hard to play hard,' or whatever else people say to convince themselves that they're happy in life. That they are content. 'Normal.'
As a child I was imprisoned by my own anxieties and loneliness and my inability to feel happy doing the things our society dictates we should do in order to grow up and become 'successful' adults. I played the roles I had to play in order to fit in and get by. I pretended that I was doing what I wanted to do in order to secure a 'future' for myself. When I got older, as most of you know, I experienced the prison of drug addiction and alcoholism -- a ten-year black hole I only recently crawled out of. So, in other words, I can relate very well to that feeling of being stuck in a place you don't want to be. I can empathize with anyone who feels hopeless and helpless and powerless and.....stuck.
There is a way out of prison. Only a few escape, but it's possible. It just takes a bit of willingness, a lot of courage and an open mind. No one should have to spend a large portion of their lives doing something they don't want to be doing. Society calls it 'work.' I call it prison.
So, if anybody reading this feels like they're stuck in a sort of prison they can't get out of, I can assure you that there is a way out. It might be painful and difficult as hell, but it's through the suffering that one gains the knowledge and enlightenment necessary to truly live as a 'free' human being.
I gotta run, so I'll end with this: if you're unhappy in life, DO SOMETHING about it. If nothing changes, then nothing changes, got it? Follow your heart and pursue your passions.
-peace/warm regards
jeremy
